still counting...

No Noah yet. At least not outside of his cozy, comfy little mommy sized home. We have a nursery for him all ready to go, however Noah prefers Mommy to the cold February weather. Maybe March will be more to his liking, or so we anxiously hope. The closing months seem to be a little rougher with the wicked crazy (and slightly evil) back pain and cramps. We keep thinking our little boy is going to come out and play an moment, but he doesn't, and so we wait. And wait. We don't want to wait. We are excited to see the little fella. He'll get here when he's good an ready I suppose.

It's an early lesson in parenting, as Shelli brought up, learning that we are not the ones to control our son. Help him grow and learn certainly; but we don't make his decisions for him, we can only help and teach. I pray we'll be good at that... that we'll be patient and loving. I know Mommy will be. She already is so much and more, how much more so with little Noah. She is such an amazing mother kind, patient, loving; so excited and enthusiastic. I love my wife's glow, even despite the uncomfortableness there is just such an aura of excitement and anticipation about her. She is amazingly beautiful.

So I suppose I pray that I will be patient and loving. I mean, I know I will love him, without a doubt; but I hope I am loving or that I show him that. I hope that I can be an example to my son. I hope that he can learn from my strengths and weaknesses and be a much better man than I was or am. I know he can be, but its his choice, all I can do is help... teach... love.

I am so excited beyond measure for his arrival. It's like when you were 8 years old and you first got the glimpse of all the Christmas presents under the tree. You ran down and scoped out the packages that had your name inscribed on their little festive tags. You wanted to tear them open in that moment, but you couldn't. It was still days until Christmas. So every day until Christmas morning you had to wait. Seeing those presents stacked there calling your name each day. Its kind of like that, only with a whole lot more excitement and we have know idea what day we get to open our little present. Oh, and Noah's not Christmas present, he's our son, that's a pretty substantial difference too.

Point is, I am excited. Excited to meet my son. Excited to hold him in my arms. Excited to see him grow, and play, and discover. Excited to be a Daddy. Whether today, tomorrow or whenever... I am excited.

Finishing Touches...

Thanks to Grandpa Gary for the amazing work on the frames.

My creative and crafty wife made the "NOAH" letters, aren't they amazing?

A 9 Month Wrap-Up

Only a few more days left of sharing a body with my little one, and Kelly and I are getting more and more excited....and nervous to meet the little guy! Calling the last 9 months an "adventure" would be a gigantic understatement. It has been so challenging, yet so amazingly wonderful. It's one of the only times in my life that I will get excited about having an expanding waistline! I am in such awe at this amazing act of growing a little human being inside of me, and sharing literally everything with him! I've gotten a small taste of his temperament and personality, and despite the downs of pregnancy, the ups have been extraordinary!

We found out that we were expecting on our one year anniversary, and I don't think we actually believed those 3 pee-sticks, 2 blood tests, and ultrasound until about 2 months later!

I have perfected my sprint to the toilet in a desperate attempt to spare the carpet, and learned to eat things that I can manage the taste coming UP, as well as going down. I have also taken on a new look, sporting my hot new "cankles". (For those who are unaware of this phenomenon: The official definition, "1. having no defined ankle so that it appears that the calves are directly joined to the feet. 2. Fat ankles.")....yes, they are as sexy as they sound!

The migraines have been furious and have come with a vengeance. They truly have been out of control, and Kelly has been the most amazing in helping me manage the pain, nausea, and frustration of dealing with them. I praise God for a husband who has had so much compassion and love for me! I know that watching me deal with chronic pain is just as hard on him as it is on me. Thank you Kell. We have been to Labor and Delivery 3 times already this year to seek relief for my dreadful headaches, and needless to say, I'm pretty sure we're ready and well-acquainted with how to find our way around the maternity ward! (Kelly knows exactly where the snacks, drinks, and blanket warmers are!....he's willing to give tours if anyone's interested!)

Despite all of the woes of pregnancy, feeling and watching my belly roll around has brought so much joy to both Kelly and myself. Noah can knock an open book straight off of my belly with one fierce kick, and an "ouch" from me!

So...as I finish up with the last few days of pregnancy, I praise God for keeping me and Noah healthy for these past 9 months, for a husband who has comforted me, held my hair while I hovered over the toilet, and most importantly loved me unconditionally, for a family that have done SO much for us by pouring out wisdom, love, and endless gifts for the arrival of our son, and for friends who have joined with us in our excitement and the journey we are about to embark on. I couldn't have asked for a more amazing network of people for my son to be born into!

Here's to a great 9 months, and an even greater lifetime for our little boy!

My talented dad took some last pics of my prego belly. The next pics will be of baby Noah himself! (Sorry, I have no intention of posting post-baby-belly pics! You're disappointed, I know!)

dear dad

Something in me couldn't hold this one back. Too much has gone on. So, here it is...

Dear Dad;

I write you now for so many reasons. Some I understand and some I don’t, regardless I write everything because I love you. Not only do I love you as much as any son could love his dad, I admire you so much. In many ways it may be because I am learning, albeit slowly, what it means to be a dad myself. The closer my own son comes to arriving the more and more I feel of what I can only imagine you have felt for years.

Years you spent as my Dad. Oh, how I loved those years. I know I didn’t always show it well, as a matter of fact, often I showed it poorly, but I really did love having you as my Dad. All those times you played basketball with me in the yard. Not on a basketball court, mind you, but that rocky desert terrain of dirt we called a court. The place I received my first and only bloody nose – from my Dad. The place I learned to dribble a basketball and shoot free throws. The place I learned that a basketball is not that hard to dribble when you have a flat surface. I cherish al those hours, the nights you would come home from work and I would time my basketball time just as you got home. “How about a game, Dad?” You would be so tired sometimes, but you’d still play. I can’t thank you enough; it meant the world to me.

All those times you helped me out, and let me pay you back by doing projects with you around the house and yard. I thought you were exploiting me sometimes; I came to learn you were spending time with me. Teaching me. Loving me. I learned to shingle a roof, re-roof a garage, change a transmission, change a clutch, change the oil, change a tire, frame a spare room, drywall, drive a tractor, among many, many other things. I learned the value of sacrificing and serving those you love. I learned so much.

Oh, and the cars. How I love the car stories. The Chevy? The Sprint? The Nova? The Pathfinder? The Metro? The other Nova? Sorry, Dad. I learned a lot though. Yes, I learned them the hard way, but I sure was glad you were always there for me. I can only pray to have a tenth of the patience and grace you gave me with my own son. I do have to say though; I like sharing the projects with you way more then the repairs. I look forward to finishing that Nova; I wish I were closer, so we had more time to do it together. I am glad we share that though.

I remember the sleep-overs when I was younger and how you would wrestle with me and my friends. How you would set up the tents outside. I remember how much fun I had wrestling with you in the living room. Sometimes I got out of control, what a little temper I had, but you had more patience than a monk. Good thing for me.
I used to have so much fun going to the mountains with you to get fire-wood. Learning to run the chainsaw, or how to chop up the wood. Betting double-or-nothing on whether or not you could chop the log in one swing. You could, about 95% of the time. Good thing you never held me to the rules, I’d still be paying you off. I had so much fun and learned so much. How I admired my Dad.

As of recent memories I can think of all the four-wheeler trips and geocaching. The crazy stuff we would find. I love your stories. Stories of growing up. Stories of when times were simpler, easier… harder and more complex. Stories of Alaska, stories of family. Stories of Moab and stories of mining. You have great stories, I hope I tell stories as well as you do. I won’t have as good of stories so I hope you don’t mind if I borrow a few of yours to tell my son. I will tell him about you all the time because I can only wish to have just a little bit of you in me. I hope with every breath I can be more like my Dad

I’ll never forget some advice you once gave me, simple advice, but good advice: “Don’t do anything stupid.” You told me as I got into my car off to party with some friends. I don’t know if you realized the impact of those words, but every time I forget to think and jump into some idiotic decision those words scroll through my brain. You have kept me from a lot of mistakes. You never stopped me from being able to choose, you never locked me down from making mistakes, but you taught me to learn from them. You let me grow; you let me become a man on the terms that they needed to happen. You gave me the advice I needed when I needed it – without controlling me.

I want you to know how much I love you, how much I look up to you and how grateful and blessed I am, that you are my Dad. It is because of you that I am able to be who I am today. The things you taught me, the strength you gave me, the love you showed me, the life you lived – all of it – is part of who I am, and I cannot thank you enough for everything. Words cannot express how much I love you and what an amazing Dad you have been to me. I love you Dad.

But I want you to know one more thing. Even more important than knowing how much I love you and look up to you, I want you to know how much God loves you, even more so than I love you or, as hard as it is to believe, you have loved me. I believe this with everything in me. My life exists to share this with everyone else, how much more importantly my own Dad. One thing you taught me above all these stories and lessons, is that who you are, who God created you to be (especially in my own life) has shown me more than any other single person or thing what God’s love is like and how much he loves me, and you. Why he would give his son to die for us, simply so that he could be with us.

I know this is where my letter bridges into the far-fetched, possibly the unbelievable, but I want you to know this more than anything else, Dad. This life, the one we live today, is the beginning, not the end. There is more – I sincerely believe that with everything in me. Its not far-fetched, its not unbelievable, I spend my days, my career, teaching these truths to junior high and high school students for a reason: because it is real and it does matter… more than anything in this world. I have seen God change my life, change these kids’ lives; I want you to know that in your life.

I want you to know my God, Dad. To know how much he loves you, to know that his son died on a cross for you. I want you to know that with everything in me I believe this. I can only pray that I live it out too, more than just telling you. That I live it out for my son, the way you, likely unknowingly, lived it out in so many ways for me for me. A Father’s love was such a wonderful example of how God loves us.
Dad, you showed me through your own life a glimpse of God’s love; through you, God revealed himself to me, in my life. You have been an inspiring example of love, patience, tenderness, grace, mercy, strength, sacrifice and friendship. I don’t know what you think, nor what you believe, so that’s why I say these things, because they mean so much to me – more importantly, because you mean so much to me.

Thank you Dad, for being such and amazing father and friend. For teaching me so much, for being such a great example, for loving me when I know I was so difficult to love sometimes… for believing in me. For playing with me, wrestling with me, and laughing with me, for being patient with me and for forgiving me even when I least deserved it. Thank you for loving my Mom, she means the world to me too, and I know you mean more than the world to her.

I hope, I pray that I have just an ounce of you in me. If I can just share that much of you with my son, he’ll turn out ok. I pray I can be as close to as good of a father to Noah as you are to me; to be so understanding, to be so patient, to be so loving, so sacrificing, so… good.

I admire you more than anyone Dad, I look up to you as a standard of something to I strive to be, but most of all – I love you Dad – don’t ever forget that.

Thank you,

Your Son

happy birthday

24 years ago today my lovely wife entered this world, and as such my life, making this one of my most favorite days of the year. I have been celebrating this day every year with lovely wife for 5 years now. So happy birthday Shelli! You are my everything. Thank you for being the most amazing, loving, understanding, supportive, compassionate, indescribably wonderful wife ever! I in no way deserve someone as beautiful and special as you, but don't think that for a second I don't thank God for how grateful I am for you. Words just aren't good enough.

So from the little Kangaroo growing inside, to the little crazy puppy chewing up the house, and from the extremely handsome husband (hey! don't laugh), we love you - our amazing mom, wife and friend. Happy Birthday! 

I love you!!

maiming of a Christmas penguin

Sam, our adorable little wood chipper disguised as a dog. The peeing and the poo-splosions have ceased, but the gnawing, chewing and shredding of our happy little home continues. Sam has managed to chew up door handles, baseboards, blankets, and just about anything within range of those little chompers. This led to a theory – give him something to chew on and he’ll be too occupied for anything else, right? Ahem, no. See I bought Sammy an over-sized tennis ball not to long ago. It was a holiday deal at Petsmart and I thought it’d be a nice treat. Turns out, it was more of a treat than I had originally anticipated. I arrived home at 3pm. Played with Sam for about 45 minutes. Resumed my holiday baking, and by 6pm when Shelli arrived home, Sam had about 1/3 of a Tennis ball remaining intact. 3 hours – dead ball. Poor ball never stood a chance.

This entire story thus far is merely a preface of the main point. See for Christmas Sam received a cute little Penguin from Grandma Pam and Grandpa Gary who periodically, and thankfully, watch our little raging puppy from time to time. I have posted two photos: the first document the little penguin in his original, pristine state on Christmas Eve. The second, documenting the result of one night with Sam. The unfortunate little penguin was able to walk… errr… roll away with only the loss of his limbs, a much better fate than the tennis ball.

Christmas Eve...

the Aftermath...

the puzzle

So every year a little voice in the back of my mind creeps in to convince me of how much fun a puzzle would be. This epiphany usually makes its presence known right around Thanksgiving and carries itself to an excruciating fruition right about the New Year. This fun little bout with insanity usually costs me a couple sleepless nights and countless uninspired hours of staring blankly at a table full of random pieces glaring back at my frustration with their own uppity contempt.

A delightful not-so-little 864 square inches of 2,000 microscopic evil amorphous puzzle pieces met their match just a few days ago. Of course, the question must be asked, who met whose match? Considering somewhere near 35 days of puzzle war before the victor was crowned. A victory nonetheless.

I am proud to say the battle is over, the war is one, and the wife is much happier without the Van Gogh inspired monster hogging the dinner table.

I survived...

the New Years Eve Youth lock-in. Barely. 7pm to 7am. 30+ Junior and Senior High youth. 6 leaders. 1 hour of basketball, 1 of dodgeball. 4 movies, countless video games, 12 pizzas, who knows how many sodas, and one amazing and extremely good God.

See I was reminded of why we do all this. Last year’s lock-in we were completely impressed if we had 15 youth. Lets just say we under-planned this year when the kids kept pouring through the doors. Thirty!? Really? And we still had a handful of youth who didn’t make it. Tons of friends. For a moment I realized, many walked through the doors of a church for the first time, some walked through having their perceptions of what a Christ follower really is, shattered, some heard God’s wisdom in ways they had not yet imagined, some were inspired to know Him more. Some were inspired to love Him more. Whatever happened, I pray, I hope God changed lives for the better. That they all, we all, would know Him more. For some it opened doors for them to enjoy this journey with us, and I hope and pray they do. God is amazing. I love being part of this ministry with Him, with my wife, and with these kids. He is indescribable. She is wonderful, and my everything. They are outstanding. I am so unworthy of all this.

Christmas Thoughts

What a wonderful year. It came with its ups and downs, but overall it was refreshing holiday. We enjoyed a slew of Christmases this year starting by visiting my parents and family in Moab for a few days. We enjoyed a wonderful time with my Mom, Dad, Sisters, Niece, Nephew, Aunts, Uncles and Grandma. We made the tours of several homes, opening presents with all varieties of family. My Mom always goes out of her way to make sure everyone enjoys the holiday and she was hard at work as always this year. She did a wonderful job I might add, always waiting on everybody and making sure we were having a good time. It was a great time to see my family. Working for a church, which of course means working weekends; I have less opportunity to go visit. Though my family understands, I still have times where I miss them greatly. I don’t get to see my nieces and nephews grow up and my Mom and Dad and Grandma and Sisters seem so far away sometimes. I relish holidays and time to spend with them. It was a good year.

We played board games, video games (my family got a little into the Rock Band scene), ate food, enjoyed the Christmas Eve Service at my church back home (it was so good to see all my long lost friends, it had been a while), opened presents, played outside and lounged around. We even took little Sammy down with us and my Dad had a great time with him. My Dad was so convinced of Sam’s excess energy that he had the great idea to hook him up to a sled.  After hooking him up and sitting down on the sled… Sam sat down next to him. Not exactly a sled dog I guess.

After Moab we made the trip home to enjoy a Haskins family Christmas. We spent Sunday with the Lansings and Haskins opening presents and eating more food. Gotta love the holidays, right? We had a wonderful time, and Gary made these amazing wooden toys for Travis and myself. He is quite talented. Shelli’s present was pretty amazing too, but I will let her detail that one.

Noah and I hit the penguin jackpot this year from Pez dispensers and giant pens to stuffed penguins and ornaments, the list goes on. I like penguins so I was pretty stoked, although I think Shelli is on penguin overload. Good times.

Next year will be Noah’s first and I can’t wait to share Christmas as a full-fledged family. Couple more months and the little guy will join us, I am so excited.

Whatever happened to holly and snowflakes?

Christmas is coming fast! (A little too fast, actually!) I love this time of year: the smells, the lights, the snow (unless you live in Utah-Ha!) the love, the joy, the excitement. Kelly and I decorated our house all festive, and filled it with Christmas candles....love it! We still have yet to buy a REAL tree, that's the next thing on the list to do. Hopefully this weekend! (Please pray that Sam won't chew on it, demolish it, knock it over, or pee on it!) We have a little tradition of getting a new ornament every year to adorn our tree. Hopefully 30 years from now it will be so original and "us"-something we can cherish, enjoy and have to remind us of the fun memories of our journey as a family. (Sidenote: this is what my parents' tree looks like. It has so many different ornaments from all of their years together, and to top it off....a homemade star that I made when I was about 5 years old! --At least, I think it's a star!-- Their tree is one of my favorite parts of Christmas!) In my quest for some cool Christmas ornaments, and decorations I came across some not-so-traditional...and quite creepy Christmas decorations. Deck the halls with......Eek!

I'm pretty sure this Santa was drinking something other than milk with his cookies. What is in that gold package, anyway?

Did I miss the part in the Bible where the manger scene was at a KFC?

Nightmares in Evergreen.

One of Santa's elves gone VERY astray.

Nothing says "Merry Christmas" like a pile of poop hanging from the boughs of your tree.

Did this Santa tie the other Santa up? He's looking a little mischevious, isn't he? This brings new light to the song "He sees you when you're sleeping...." Eek!

This ornament needs no explanation. Pure creepiness. What is it, anyway?

What is this little elf thinking? He's probably been hanging out with the creepy, kidnapping Santa above.

What a beautiful mantle-piece. Any takers?

I am beginning to understand how penguins feel

Penguins happen to be Kelly's favorite animal....yes, the awkwardly shaped, funny looking, waddley little creatures. What a funny idea, to create penguins. Next to the duck-billed platypus, I think they are one of the weirdest little animals. However, I now understand why Kelly likes me in my current state: I am awkwardly shaped, a little funny looking, and a waddley walker. Perhaps God created penguins so that pregnant women could have something to empathize with, or maybe use for reference on days of excessive awkwardness? Whatever the reason, I welcome Week 28 of pregnancy and all of the joys and hardships that come with it, including being confused with a penguin.




Housing the "little one" truly has been so much fun. I love feeling him wiggle inside of me, and miss the hours of absence when he's resting...(I'll admit, I have poked him a few times, just so he would poke back and entertain me!....Sshhh....don't call Child Protective Services!) Kelly and I have been learning a lot and preparing for the arrival of our little baby boy. There is so much I have yet to learn, and I am sure that 99% of that will come from experience, but it's hard not to get a little nervous about being completely and utterly responsible for the life of another human being. Kelly has been the absolute most amazing husband and friend during my pregnancy. He has cherished my expanding waistline, tickled my sore back, held my hair when my head was lodged in the toilet-puking up breakfast, lunch, or dinner...take your pick, and NOT ONCE called me a "crazy, hormonal, moody, grumpy, pregnant lady" when I am a crazy, hormonal, moody, grumpy, pregnant lady. What a guy! Thank you Kelly for loving me in my hormonal nuttiness! These last 28 weeks have been pure joy, (with a little exhaustion and sickness mixed in there!) I look forward to 12 more weeks of penuin waddles, and even moreso, the arrival of the little bambino, whom will be cry-free, poop-free, and have his own job by the time he's one, I'm sure of it! And I promise, I won't poke him to play with me once he's here!